The simple life (part 2)
This is the second installation of the simple life from 3 weeks.
I finished the first part saying that I will write what has changed. What was true 3 weeks ago is still true today (with a couple of more complications to make life interesting ;-)) So what I'll write now is pretty much what I wroted 3 weeks ago. Why didn't I write it then? Because I felt that by get out to the public the situation as I see it I would make me do something that I'm trying to avoid. So without further adue:
I moved to a new country. I moved from a place that I hated the weather to a place that I hate the weather even more. It's humid as it is in Israel on a hot summer day. But to add to the discomfort that I feel because of humidity I also suffer more from the heat. It's simply too hot for me here. It's true that most of the time I'm inside with air conditionting on, but I don't like being closed. I'm somewhat clastrophobic and after a few hours closed I feel that I must get out.
On the personal level I'm stuck. I'm not going ahead for a few reasons. 1: as much as people here are nice it comes with a very limited warrenty (as it was proven to me a few times by various people). I could take things into my own hands and subscribe to singles club, fitness club, buy a bicycle etc ... but I don't because I still have not decided weather I want to stay here, so I'm trying to minimize my holdings to the minimum.
If I want it or not I cannot break the rent lease that I signed on. This means that I have a very big debt over my head. I could if I wanted simply skip town and leave the debt behind me. But that would mean that I screw up people and burn bridges. Definitly not my modus operandi. No matter what I will not push my debt to someone else. So I have to collect money to be sure that I will be able to pay the debt before I will afford myself a life. I had a friend who did it once in a similar situation. Ever since then I find it hard to talk to him. In my eyes he's an unstable and dangarous person. He lost my trust.
On the professional side I went back on all fronts. I'm the IT manager of a Windows network (something I work very hard to to avoid and not be part of my profession). I deal with stupid problems day in and day out because the people around me are very low level and on the one hand don't see and understand the big picture of IT and on the other hand don't let me do my job because they used to do it and can't relent control. In the places I try to bump the professional level to something decent I get stopped because from the side it simply looks as if I exagurate and go too far. I used to try and explain my point of view. Didn't work so I sort of gave up (sometime I still try).
last and least (at least according to the Dalai Lama's test) is my paychech. I get paid much less than a similar position around here. I get paid less than I made as self employed back in Israel.
I once received a promise that the company will make its best to raise my paycheck according to company capabilities. To which anyone with very little brain and exprience would say: Yeah right ...
From any perspective my life has gone backwards. They say that sometimes in order to go forward one has to go backwards at the begining. I don't know how to judge wether this is the case this time or just a waist of time. I guess only time will tell...
I finished the first part saying that I will write what has changed. What was true 3 weeks ago is still true today (with a couple of more complications to make life interesting ;-)) So what I'll write now is pretty much what I wroted 3 weeks ago. Why didn't I write it then? Because I felt that by get out to the public the situation as I see it I would make me do something that I'm trying to avoid. So without further adue:
I moved to a new country. I moved from a place that I hated the weather to a place that I hate the weather even more. It's humid as it is in Israel on a hot summer day. But to add to the discomfort that I feel because of humidity I also suffer more from the heat. It's simply too hot for me here. It's true that most of the time I'm inside with air conditionting on, but I don't like being closed. I'm somewhat clastrophobic and after a few hours closed I feel that I must get out.
On the personal level I'm stuck. I'm not going ahead for a few reasons. 1: as much as people here are nice it comes with a very limited warrenty (as it was proven to me a few times by various people). I could take things into my own hands and subscribe to singles club, fitness club, buy a bicycle etc ... but I don't because I still have not decided weather I want to stay here, so I'm trying to minimize my holdings to the minimum.
If I want it or not I cannot break the rent lease that I signed on. This means that I have a very big debt over my head. I could if I wanted simply skip town and leave the debt behind me. But that would mean that I screw up people and burn bridges. Definitly not my modus operandi. No matter what I will not push my debt to someone else. So I have to collect money to be sure that I will be able to pay the debt before I will afford myself a life. I had a friend who did it once in a similar situation. Ever since then I find it hard to talk to him. In my eyes he's an unstable and dangarous person. He lost my trust.
On the professional side I went back on all fronts. I'm the IT manager of a Windows network (something I work very hard to to avoid and not be part of my profession). I deal with stupid problems day in and day out because the people around me are very low level and on the one hand don't see and understand the big picture of IT and on the other hand don't let me do my job because they used to do it and can't relent control. In the places I try to bump the professional level to something decent I get stopped because from the side it simply looks as if I exagurate and go too far. I used to try and explain my point of view. Didn't work so I sort of gave up (sometime I still try).
last and least (at least according to the Dalai Lama's test) is my paychech. I get paid much less than a similar position around here. I get paid less than I made as self employed back in Israel.
I once received a promise that the company will make its best to raise my paycheck according to company capabilities. To which anyone with very little brain and exprience would say: Yeah right ...
From any perspective my life has gone backwards. They say that sometimes in order to go forward one has to go backwards at the begining. I don't know how to judge wether this is the case this time or just a waist of time. I guess only time will tell...
2 Comments:
I posted a comment a few days ago but my stinky computer threw me out...I'll try again,
Though slightly confused as I thought I knew who you meant I'm now wondering if it's two people you are speaking of.
I forget the rest of it...i'll have to re read your post...
Okay, about your lease, how long is it?
you could have a long distant relationship for a while and when the lease is up move...you could still try to meet other ppl. via online dating perhaps from different cities, different states...after all the USA is huge and if you don't limit your self to jewish woman, you have quite a large pool to fish in.
Professionaly, I can't help you as I can't even lead by example...iv'e been in the same dead end job now for 9 years and still have attempted to better my self.
Question are you paid less than Ed? ;-)
I'm trying to convince Ed that we will need to take a step backwards fininacially, which is scary since we aren't exactly rolling in it, in order for me to move forward or at the very least enjoy what I do...but it's VERY hard to leave where I am, I don't know if Have what it take to do it. right now i'm working on something which will probably only hold me back furthur...Number 2.
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